“But this doesn’t make any sense!”
She held her handwriting notebook out to me, pointing to the cursive letters.
“See? They want me to copy this sentence that doesn’t even mean anything! Why do I have to do that?”
I looked, she was right. It was just a collection of seemingly random words. I opened my mouth with a standard reply of, “Just do what the directions say, Czarina,” when suddenly, I was hit with something. It was a moment, the kind that pops out in neon, as if Someone was taking a highlighter and underlining the seconds. Pay Attention.
“I don’t get it. Why do I have to do this? It doesn’t make sense.” I heard Czarina’s voice, but I felt my own questions in her words.
Now, I could tell what was happening in the handwriting assignment. I could see that these certain words were helping her to practice a very specific way of connecting letters. It was an exercise designed to strengthen her skill in a particular area. However, the words didn’t express an actual idea. It wasn’t logical. Seemed pointless. And that bugged her.
Just like it bugs me.
I like things to make sense. I like to understand the meaning of things, the “why”. I don’t mind doing the work, as long as I see the point.
But life’s not always like that. God’s not always like that.
Sometimes, we look at a thing, and have no idea why we’ve been assigned to work on it. We are perplexed, frustrated, questioning. We have an obstacle that God could easily remove from our lives, and He doesn’t. We have a sickness, a need, a wound- and God could easily heal it, change it, meet it, EXPLAIN it, (because we know He is capable of all things) but He doesn’t.
Why? Why are we often tasked with doing a thing that doesn’t make sense to us?
Well, I see it today, a small glimpse of the reason, anyway. I see that it doesn’t need to make sense, for it to be exactly what we need.
Czarina will trace the loops and curves of this nonsensical sentence today, wondering what good it is. And tomorrow, her handwriting will be a little bit more beautiful because of it. A little clearer, a little stronger. Practicing these exact words cause her to work the weaker muscles of her fingers. After a while, her ligaments and tendons will have been trained to write smoothly, confidently. It doesn’t matter what she’s writing, it matters that her fingers are moving. One day, lovely script will flow with ease because she labored over something she didn’t quite understand. What she’s doing right now, will make something amazing later on.
I think we all have questions about God. About His sovereignty, His participation in our lives, His will for us. We are little things, trying to understand the Mightiest thing. We’ll never wrap our minds around him. But this I do know, because He reminded me. I don’t need to “get it” all the time. I don’t have to have it figured out. All I need to do is trust Him, and obey Him. Put my pen to the paper, trace the words He left for me, and know that something good is happening and will happen because of it.
So I send Czarina off to complete her handwriting, throwing in a little Wax on, Wax off analogy, and all is well. We content ourselves with this small glimpse of the bigger picture, knowing one day, we will see it in full.
And it will be amazing.