Yesterday, I gave myself a day. I let some things slide, so that I could pull out the old sewing machine, and make something pretty.
It was like a trip to the spa! I forget how important it is to be creative sometimes. I forget that it’s okay to take that time. I have this mental list of things that must be done each day. If I (amazingly) am able to mark everything off and still end up with some time on my hands, then I might try a small project. But, I am learning a valuable lesson here… maybe that list is BUNK.
Maybe that list is a stumbling block. A weight around my neck. Maybe that list is sabotaging my happiness.
Now, I know that there are certain things that MUST be done, meals prepared, children bathed, etc. And I know also, that putting off some jobs only makes them worse later.
Perhaps, though, that is a sacrifice I need to make occasionally.
Because those curtains I made yesterday for Czarina’s window have done more for my mental health than a session with a therapist. I woke up happy this morning, satisfied with bringing pretty to a small corner of this house. As silly as it sounds, doing something special and spontaneous and a little bit indulgent for my home was exactly what I needed to do. I am constantly wearing my mechanic’s jumpsuit around here. (See my name tag? Says “Mom”) I’m not complaining, honestly, just noting the fact that I am steadily maintaining the essential systems of this house. I’m under the hood of this sucker all the time, which is fine, it’s my job. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, I really wouldn’t. But sometimes, I need to wipe off the grease and take her for a spin. I need to enjoy it.
So, the curtains are super cute. But more than that, I realized something big. Making them wasn’t a necessary function for yesterday, and that was OKAY. The world didn’t end because I deviated from my list, from my schedule. The house is still standing, it’s actually a little nicer than it was before. And the big bonus, every time I walk past those cheery curtains, I get a boost. My heart is lightened, my work is easier, and that is definitely more important than every single sock matched and put away.
You know I’ve been struggling lately, I’ve told you. It hasn’t been seamless. What used to work, doesn’t anymore. I’ve had to come up with a new game plan, new rules, new tricks, to fit this new life. But I’m getting there. Yesterday was a big step, letting go of an old idea and embracing a new one. It was sort of… well, it was exciting! A piece of the puzzle settled into place. It was lovely. Encouraging. And I know it is only the beginning.