Thanks for the comments on the last post, guys. I feel better today. Yesterday was much improved. I decided to spend more time with the kids, so that I could intervene and correct behavior as it cropped up. So, I got less accomplished around the house, but I don’t care. We needed some extra contact with each other! We just hung out most of the day, and I gave more hugs and positive reinforcement. I could see the difference by the end of the day, and King Pen agreed. I plan to repeat that today (and everyday!) and I believe it’s going to make a difference.
Motherhood is a form of homeostasis. We’re always trying to find that perfect balance, where everybody is getting what they need. Watching over them, looking for places you need to make adjustments in your schedule or your activities or your words. Finding that perfect combination of things, the exact formula for each child- (each one requires something different)– that’s the crux of it all. We are constantly tweaking the machine, so that is running at it’s optimum capacity. This is a tall order even when you’re single and have only yourself to keep straight. Add in five other people- and it is a neverending! I don’t mean that in complaint. I mean, you have to be so diligent, constantly aware of where everybody is and what they need from you… and not forget to ENJOY it!!
But, God blesses our efforts, definitely beyond what we deserve. I’m going to be imperfect, there’s no doubt about it. But I’m not a team of one. I, very fortunately, have a completely perfect partner (and sorry King Pen, I am not referring to thee). It’s hard to imagine, but God loves my children even more than I do. I am certainly not alone with their rearing. He is steadily working within them, shepherding, pruning, tending– reaching places I can’t. He covers my stumbling, He goes beyond my primitive efforts, He helps and heals and guides in ways I don’t even comprehend. It is a great comfort to know that they are in better hands than even my own. The covenant God made with His people is good, so good. Becoming a parent has brought new meaning to the security and joy to be found in His promises to us. I am grateful and humbled, and oh so calmed in His hands. But even more grateful, humbled, and calmed, knowing they are in His hands.
Anyway, just thought I’d follow up on my earlier post. I appreciate all your comments and encouragements. It’s wonderful to have such good friends in my life! I do wuv you all.
Okay, I’m off for the morning. Stuff to do, kids to hug, yada yada yada. 🙂