One thing I noticed after having four children is an increased tolerance for kids. Yeah, yeah, don’t be a smartypants. What I mean is, for extra kids. It is a rare day when I don’t have a few extra knuckleheads running around my house. It just doesn’t seem to phase me anymore! As a matter of fact, I’m happy to have them here because then my children are occupied, and I can keep my eyes on ’em at the same time. Everybody knows that at 5:30, it’s time to go home, and there’s no fuss over it. They know they’ll be welcome back tomorrow.

This is not a skill I was born with. Seriously. The idea of being in charge of half a dozen children at one time was slightly horrifying. I babysat a lot as a teenager, but that was for money. When you’re sixteen and convinced that social extinction awaits the unfashionable- yeah, you’ll put up with a lot to get those Guess jeans. But it was never my “calling”. It was more a matter of necessity than anything else. I’m not even sure I liked kids back then.

Gee, that sounds bad.

Anyway. So, that’s why this whole new, kid lovin’ me is surprising.

I’ve changed.

Wha? Again? For some reason, it never fails – change always shocks me! I always think I’m done, I’m finally all of who I’ll be in this life. And I never am! You’d think I’d get that by now.

I remember being in my early twenties, and feeling quite smug with myself, so sure that I had finally “arrived”. I had it pretty well figured out. Well, imagine my surprise by my late twenties, when lo and behold, I had changed again! Turns out I had NOT learned everything there was to know at 21. I laughed fondly at that silly girl, quite smug AGAIN in my late-ish 20’s, thinking, well, NOW I’ve got the goods on this whole thing called Life. I’ve got it pegged for sure.

But, no. Hello thirties! More experiences, more changing. Looking back (with wise eyes, no doubt- ha!) on my twenties, I see how far I’ve come. So now… what do I do? I think surely THESE are the years I will finally achieve Me-Dom!

*rolling eyes

I’ll never learn. The thing is, you’re never done. You never stop changing, you never get the “whole” picture… because we live life one chapter at a time. Who knows what and who I’ll be when I get to the end! There are so many years ahead, so many changes waiting in those unturned pages.

But that’s the fun of it, isn’t it? Surprise endings are always the best.

Anyway, those are just some random thoughts on a Thursday night. Time for Leno… and a dip into the Halloween bucket.

G’night, ya’ll. Sleep tight.

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