Who hasn’t watched Texas Walker Ranger with their Grandma? You know you have. And here’s why: Chuck rocks. Check out his biceps. His fierce gaze. His killer high-kick. His dreamcatcher. (Proof that he’s not only strong, he’s enlightened, too.)

For your viewing pleasure:

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Whew. That one glove thing is HOT.

And now, some Chuck Norris Facts (as if you didn’t already know them):

  • Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
  • The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
  • There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.
  • Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
  • The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
  • Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.
  • Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting…. CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING
  • Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
  • If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Chuck Norris?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

Wow. Whatta man.

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