You think that’s Uma, don’t you? As Poison Ivy in Batman? Well, you’d be wrong. That’s me, currently. I came in contact with that vicious plant last week at my parent’s house, and now I am fighting an almost unbearable urge to scratch, scratch, scratch. (And my hair turned bright red, and I keep having vague thoughts about going ninja on some guy named Bill. Weird.)

Anyway, I haven’t had poison ivy since I was a kid, and I forgot just how horrible it is. The rash itself is not all that bad, because I have been SAINTLY about not scratching, but ooooohhhhh the agony of the itch! It makes me want to cry! I am not kindly disposed to plantlife at the moment. As a matter of fact, I should issue a warning to all the greenery in my life to tread lightly, my friends. Tread lightly. I have been crossed by your brethren, and I seek justice. (I think the righteous vengeance must be coming from Uma.)

Anway, I sent King Pen to the store for Benadryl, and though I know it will zonk me out, I must have some relief. In the meantime, I am considering buying this shirt to memorialize my suffering. I think it’d look good with my new red hair.