What a day! The Duke turns two tomorrow, so we had a little shindig for him this afternoon. I’m wiped.

Pictures tomorrow afternoon, after my Sunday nap.

Happy Mother’s Day to all… and here’s a little humor to celebrate the occasion. (Cause I didn’t get you flowers. I’m sorry.)

You Know You’re a Mother when…

You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they
are equal

You plot to get even with the kid who broke your child’s toy and
made him cry

You can remove chewing gum from just about anything

You hide in the bathroom to be alone

Someone else’s kid throws up at a party, and you can keep eating

You believe finger paints should be a controlled substance

You read “Once Upon A Potty” out loud in a crowded waiting room

You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it’s the only one your child
eats

You tell your child that TOYS R US is a toy museum, not a store

You find yourself cutting all sandwiches into unusual shapes

You fast-forward the VCR through the scene where Bambi’s mother gets
killed


You become a member of three aquariums because your kid loves sharks

You obssess when your child clings to you during the first week of
school

You obsess again as they skip away without looking back the second
week

You can’t bear to give away baby clothes

You hear your mom’s voice coming out of your mouth: “Not in your good
clothes”

You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you

You donate to charity in the hope that your child won’t get that
disease

You read a 5-year-old asks 437 questions a day. You feel your kid is
above average

You hire a sitter; go out with hubbie; then spend half the night
phoning home

You get more excited about buying a new toilet than a piece of fine jewelry.

You dont hesitate in the least to swipe a booger from your childs nose with your finger.

You know all the words to the “Caillou” and “Blues Clues” theme songs.

You cut up your spouses food in little pieces.

You forego buying badly needed new underwear for yourself in exchange for an adorable little outfit for your child.

You cant remember the last time you painted your toenails.

You can unfold a stroller in two seconds flat!

Youre ecstatic when fruit snacks are 2-for-1 at the storeand you have a coupon!

You give up your subscription to Cosmopolitan and get a three-year subscription to Parenting magazine.

Your favorite piece of jewelry says “Mommy” on it, and only cost $10.

Your washing machine never stops running.

Theres always a “surprise” under the couch or in the cushions (which you discover by following the odor)!

The cat no longer comes in the house when the kids are awake.

You let your gym membership lapse and sign up for Baby Ballet class.

You have thousands of photos of your kids, but not a single one of yourself.

You buy bargain furniture because you wont feel as bad when the kids destroy it.

Youre constantly checking the back seat of the car when youre driving alone because it feels like youre forgetting “something.”

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