Time stands still for no man… or woman.
Every day, I see the signs, the long, little girl limbs of my daughter, the squaring shoulders of my sons. Time transforms them into the future right before my eyes. Some days it is sweet, and some days it stings. I miss who they were the day before, but I am proud of them today. The years begin to pile up around me, birthdays and Christmases holding more memories than will fit in my photo album. My life is full to bursting with these four people, the littlest details surrounding me like piles of golden coins. The way her hair curls, the way he runs, the freckles, the scars, the giggles, and the tears. They are my treasure, my life’s accumulation.
It scares me that one day, I can’t scoop them up in my lap. I can’t hold that little hand to cross the street. I won’t be able to lean down to kiss them goodnight and tuck them in, because they’ll go to bed later than I do, and the dark doesn’t scare them anymore. And one day, they’ll be in another bed, in another house, in another life.
It’s the natural course of things, I want those things for them. But as much as I prepare them for those days and watch proudly as they graduate from stage to stage, I mourn. Each step that brings them closer to what they will be, seems to take them farther from me.
Yes, yes I know… it is right and good, this growing up they are doing. But let me have today, let me have the tears, let me have the sadness. Because my best friends are changing, and in my heart I know that the suns that have risen around me will one day set. It is the way of things.
But not today. Today, they cast morning light, and evening is far away. Today I am the world to them, and they to me.
Today, every day is a Mother’s Day.